It's Not You, It's Me

When you are in an undesirable situation, it's probably more "you" than you think it is.

One of the books that I've been trying to finish is Carol Dweck's Mindset. 

In it, Dr. Dweck introduces you to two fundamental mindsets - growth and fixed.

In a fixed mindset, you believe that "your qualities are carved in stone...[it] creates a sense of urgency to prove yourself over and over..." 

Having a fixed mindset prevents you from taking on new challenges for fear of failure or looking bad. 

Having a fixed mindset makes it easy to blame your environment and things around you when things go wrong. 

A fixed mindset also draws you toward tasks and projects that you know you'll accomplish more easily-- all because in the past you were probably told that being able to pick things up quickly is what makes your smart. 

The growth mindset is "based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way -- in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments -- everyone can change and grow through application and experience."

Those with a growth mindset continue to pursue excellence and fulfill their potential. 

When you have a growth mindset, it's easier (not easy) to get past a failure because you look at it as a learning experience. As the acronym spells out, FAIL stands for "First Attempt in Learning." 

As much as I want to believe that I am of the growth mindset, I know that I live  a life that screams fixed mindset. 

The fear of failure. The blaming of the environment. The "it's not me, it's you," attitude. 

When you are in a crappy situation, people will tell you to either change your mindset or change your environment. 

Reading Dr. Dweck's book will help you understand that by changing your mindset you will inevitably change your environment. It's definitely worth the read. 

For a TED Talk by Dr. Dweck, go here.