Many of you may have had the privilege of working for a bully at work.
I say "privilege" because working for one is an opportunity to learn how not to be as a manager or leader.
My definition of a bully is one that has a title which sounds important - say, Director of something. He talks loudly, doesn't listen, and makes it a point to make you feel about 1" tall whenever he is trying to make a point -- without listen to your point of view.
Yet put the bully in front of someone of equal or superior status, and you would not even think that the same person existed in the same body.
He caters to a customer or superior. He conducts himself in a Rated G-like manner. It's like you have to work for Bizzarro and everyone else sees Clark Kent.
The best advice that I have when dealing with a bully at work is to leave.
Even though we teach our kids to avoid bullies or stand up, we know that avoiding a bully makes him more agitated and standing up to a bully leads to a consistent butt kicking. Or, in the case of corporate America, you'll get fired or left to die a slow death.
If you can't leave your situation, then try and minimize interaction and direct eye contact. If you can, insert a middle manager or person that is a masochist -- usually it's the same person, to take the bullying for you.
If direct contact can't be avoided and you can't immediately leave the situation, then you have to understand that bullying is a power play. And to interrupt a power play, you have to learn how to interrupt or disrupt the bully's state or pattern. (Thank you Tony Robbins).
Whether that means taking a piece of paper and drawing a smiley face while the bully is yelling at you-- or turning the tables back on the bully and asking him a question like, "Why are you being such a [insert any word here?!]," you'll be surprised. The reason is that you've now established yourself as the grown up.
The tactics described above will buy you time. If you work in an environment that allows bullies to be in positions of authority and power, then you are not in the right one to begin with.
Good luck!
I say "privilege" because working for one is an opportunity to learn how not to be as a manager or leader.
My definition of a bully is one that has a title which sounds important - say, Director of something. He talks loudly, doesn't listen, and makes it a point to make you feel about 1" tall whenever he is trying to make a point -- without listen to your point of view.
Yet put the bully in front of someone of equal or superior status, and you would not even think that the same person existed in the same body.
He caters to a customer or superior. He conducts himself in a Rated G-like manner. It's like you have to work for Bizzarro and everyone else sees Clark Kent.
The best advice that I have when dealing with a bully at work is to leave.
Even though we teach our kids to avoid bullies or stand up, we know that avoiding a bully makes him more agitated and standing up to a bully leads to a consistent butt kicking. Or, in the case of corporate America, you'll get fired or left to die a slow death.
If you can't leave your situation, then try and minimize interaction and direct eye contact. If you can, insert a middle manager or person that is a masochist -- usually it's the same person, to take the bullying for you.
If direct contact can't be avoided and you can't immediately leave the situation, then you have to understand that bullying is a power play. And to interrupt a power play, you have to learn how to interrupt or disrupt the bully's state or pattern. (Thank you Tony Robbins).
Whether that means taking a piece of paper and drawing a smiley face while the bully is yelling at you-- or turning the tables back on the bully and asking him a question like, "Why are you being such a [insert any word here?!]," you'll be surprised. The reason is that you've now established yourself as the grown up.
The tactics described above will buy you time. If you work in an environment that allows bullies to be in positions of authority and power, then you are not in the right one to begin with.
Good luck!
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