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The Right Way and Wrong Way to Give Feedback

Today I had the opportunity to sit through a review of our current proposal response. What happens is that a team of leaders in our firm come and read through the current state of what we have written and provide feedback from an outside of point of view. They give us pointed feedback as to what is missing, what they think of it, and any other thoughts that run through their head as they go through what we have developed with a fine tooth comb. In the end, it's a valuable process that has it pros and cons, but you have to believe that everyone is doing it with a common purpose of winning the work- at least that's what you should believe.

One of the hardest things to do is sit in a room and listen to the feedback when you've spent days, nights, and weekends writing page after page putting what you think is important and trying to answer the mail. It's like have multiple professors grade your paper at once -- but coming from different departments. You are never going to satisfy everyone. It's hard not to take any feedback personal.

That said, there is one person out of that entire group of 10 that provided feedback where I learned a valuable lesson in those few hours. He provided constructive feedback in way that did not demoralize the writers. He provided actional next steps that were specific and provided a direction. I don't know if he meant to do that, but I will tell you that he made me want to work more on what I had drafted even after all of the hours that went into writing the content.

I believe that there are two ways to give feedback. There is the wrong way which can be summarized as, "I don't know what I want it to look like, but what's in front of me sure isn't it." What that leads to is a neverending process that runs the person getting feedback because he or she is trying to hit an always moving target. Quote that are representative of this kind of feedback include, "This is not strategic or unified enough," or "This is just very choppy." Or my favorite,"I read the first sentence and just stopped reading."

The right way is to actually think about what's being written and what needs to be answered. Then put some thought into it, read what's been written, and try and fill the holes. Then provide feedback on what to do next in a positive, yet constructive manner. This gives the writer an idea of a direction to go in. Part of being a good leader is the ability to make decisions and be specific at times to provide clear direction. If a person spent the time to put together 50 pages to read, give them the courtesy of 10-15 minutes of actually thinking through what you want out of it.

I know that I learned a lot today and will try to employ those practices going forward. I've been on the receiving end of the wrong way of giving feedback way too many times.

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